Primary Blog/3 Reasons Your ADHD Life is a Hot Mess

3 Reasons Your ADHD Life is a Hot Mess

Originally Posted October 20th, 2021 on previous website

Dumpster fire, shit show, hot mess, crazy, whatever your go-to expression is, I have heard it over and over. Your business life and/or career is doing pretty well or even amazing but your life is a fucking mess.

There is no coincidence about this. You have been compensating for your ADHD your whole life. Because you have been living in a world designed for the neurotypical, you have created ways to thrive with your superpowers of ADHD in your business.

You use your skills of hyperfocus to complete the things you love to do. Your business is thriving because you aren’t bored and you are doing something you love!

So why is your life a dumpster fire?

1. Adulting is boring

Making appointments, cleaning, creating invoices, organizing and more are really not that interesting or exciting. Either you are bored or you get anxious by this list (or, maybe both). Realistically these items are not at the top of your list, and actually, oftentimes, don’t even make the list. You would rather spend your time doing anything else. So you don’t do the life things you “should” be doing.

2. Society is set up for NTs

This world we live in was not set up for the neurodiverse. It was definitely created for the neurotypical (NT). Things that you are “supposed” to do or “should” be doing is probably an NT thing. And if it isn’t just for the NT population, you were taught how to do it the NT way.

This includes learning how to take care of yourself. You most likely were taught how to take of yourself in an NT way. And, even the NT way isn’t great. To be honest, society does a pretty crappy job of teaching anyone how to lovingly take care of themselves. But, as an ADHDer, you were probably not taught how to take care of yourself with the way your brain works.

3. What boundaries?

I know, I know, the internet is saturated with content about creating boundaries. But, do you have boundaries? If you do, are you firm with them? Are there other boundaries you get to set?

  • ​Do you drop everything you are doing at a moment's notice if a client or potential buyer messages you on any platform?
  • ​Do you still do social things you actually don't want to be doing?
  • ​Do you spend all of your time working and not actually make time for friends, family, your partner, or your kids?

These questions aren’t meant to bring shame, guilt, or judgment, They are merely questions for observation. It is likely that you still get to learn how to implement boundaries in your life that will support your ADHD.

3 Ways to Clean up Your Mess and get Your ADHD Life on Track

There are definitely layers and more reasons why your life is a mess. I refuse to leave with you with just the why without any solutions. So here are a few things you can try out.

1. Outsource something

You may or may not be in a place to outsource something in your business but you are probably in a position to outsource some of your life.

  • Hire someone to clean your house 1 or 2 times a month.
  • ​Hire a babysitter to watch your kiddos for a few hours so you can get uninterrupted work completed and then have more time to spend with them.
  • ​Order your groceries online.
  • ​Get creative!

You get to ask for help! You don’t have to do life all by yourself.

2. Take loving care of yourself

What is the one thing that connects you to yourself that you stopped doing? That’s the thing you get to do ASAP. Whether it is journaling, self-pleasure, exercising, yoga, meditation, running, dancing, reading, walking, listening to music, etc you know what supports you.

  • Remember how grounded you felt when you were doing that thing regularly?
  • ​Weren’t you more productive and able to complete tasks when you were doing that thing? (So, that whole story you have created in your head, “I don’t have time for that” gets to be debunked). Make time! You are important.

You get to ask for help! You don’t have to do life all by yourself.

3. Create Boundaries

Start with the boundaries you have already created and dropped and put them back into place. Then, over time, create new ones that will support you in getting your life together.

  • If you know that you are not a morning person, stop scheduling appointments before 9 am.
  • ​If you know you always drop whatever you are doing the moment you get a message or notification from a client or buyer, turn those notifications off and have set times where you are able to be present to answer those messages.

You get to ask for help! You don’t have to do life all by yourself.

If you need some support, ask. There are people in your life who love you and want to support you.

And there are people like me, who would love to connect with you and see if we are a good fit to work together.

In fact, I have a group coaching program called, ADHD Get Sh*t Done Bootcamp. If this would support you, leave a comment or message me so we can connect and see if you are a good fit for the program.

You got this, you magical, amazing , beautiful ADHDer!

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Hi, I am Jess DuBose

Author of The ADHD Advocate Blog

I love to hear from my readers. Please feel free to email me or message me on Instagram.

IG @coachingwithjess

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